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Good Omens Summer Prompt Fill #1 [May. 8th, 2012|03:55 pm]
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Out of Sight, Out of Mind


It's not the first time Aziraphale has grudgingly emerged from the back room in response to a customer's startled shout. A young man, this time, from the sound of things. He sighs and puts down his crossword. Such flighty creatures, humans.

"Where is it?" asks Aziraphale, wearily.

The poor lad stands with his back against the shelves lining the far wall, trembling in his trendy canvas flats. "There," he says, pointing at the low, sunny window ledge, which offers a fine view of the alley. "Behind the stack of record catalogues."

Aziraphale bends with a huff, shifting the hefty stack (Bloody be-bop, he thinks, thanks to bloody Adam Young). The offending party lies curled up and content in the late afternoon glow, tongue flicking lazily at its reflection in the glass.

"It's an adder," insists the traumatized customer. "Don't get too close!"

"It's no such thing," Aziraphale sighs, sliding his fingers beneath the coils he knows to be most ticklish. "Natrix natrix helvetica," he says, rising, holding out his captive for the young man to inspect. "Common grass snake. Note the yellow markings on the neck. They don't even bite, dear boy. Mock-strike, yes, but never bite."

Just as the customer edges forward to peer wonderingly into Aziraphale's palms, the snake sinks its rather unimpressive fangs into Aziraphale's thumb. Aziraphale doesn't flinch, but the young man flings himself back against the bookshelves.

"Not poisonous, either," adds Aziraphale, and brushes the snake's belly with his pinkie.

It writhes, gnawing ineffectually at Aziraphale's thumb before reluctantly letting go.

"Is it your pet?" asks the young man, his voice tinged with relieved amusement.

"They're better suited to captivity than most, but difficult to feed," Aziraphale explains, unbuttoning his cuff in irritation as the snake glides head-first up the sleeve of his shirt. "And no, he's not, but he comes and goes as he pleases."

"How do you know it's a he?" asks the customer, grinning a little as Aziraphale hauls the snake out of its hiding place by the tip of its tail. "The markings?"

"Males are smaller than females by eight inches or more when fully grown," says Aziraphale, coaxing the snake back onto the window ledge. It uncurls from his wrist leisurely, nosing its way back towards the warm, dusty glass.

"Neat," says the young man, and proceeds to leave the shop in a hurry.

Aziraphale turns to find Crowley, perched naked on the ledge, idly flipping through a catalogue. He's the very picture of disheveled grace, and entirely too endearing.

"You're a menace, my dear," Aziraphale tells him, tilting Crowley's chin up with his much-abused thumb. "Although you may be right about that hole in the wall."

"Smaller?" Crowley asks with an air of mock offense, raising his eyebrows.

"Hush," says Aziraphale, fondly, and tugs him away from the window.
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Comments:
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[User Picture]From: auroramama
2012-05-08 08:13 pm (UTC)

I never bite?

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Pure pleasure. Showoff!
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:07 pm (UTC)

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It was a pleasure to write, yes :) Thank you for reading!
[User Picture]From: miss_morland
2012-05-08 08:16 pm (UTC)

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Aww, adorable! Crowley, you old serpent, you. <3
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:07 pm (UTC)

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I do love snakes. I used to catch them all the time when I was a kid!

Thanks :)
[User Picture]From: icarus_chained
2012-05-08 08:34 pm (UTC)

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Oh, so adorable. Though you were kind of asking for that one, Aziraphale. *smiles at him*

Lovely.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:07 pm (UTC)

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Yes, he really was ;) Thank you!
[User Picture]From: soul_bonnie
2012-05-08 08:37 pm (UTC)

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Perfect! And interesting to know that Crowley is so very, very harmless..
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:08 pm (UTC)

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There's not an ounce of venom in him, whatever he'd like you to think...

Thank you ;)
[User Picture]From: gemini_melia
2012-05-08 08:37 pm (UTC)

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heh, this was so cute! I think I want a naked Crowley in my window ;)
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:10 pm (UTC)

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Kind of makes me want to pinch his skinny arse. Agreed.

Thank you :)
[User Picture]From: littlegothsin
2012-05-08 08:39 pm (UTC)

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Oh this is sweet ! Thanks, I needed that smile.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:10 pm (UTC)

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You're very welcome. Thanks for reading :)
[User Picture]From: enchantersnight
2012-05-08 08:39 pm (UTC)

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Brilliant, absolutely brilliant :)
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:10 pm (UTC)

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Thank you, my dear :-D
[User Picture]From: uwsannajane
2012-05-08 08:40 pm (UTC)

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OK, am so laughing! Also, charmed. The run up Aziraphale's sleeve is just perfect.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:12 pm (UTC)

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That's one of the first things snakes will do to me: go up my sleeve (or anybody's, really) because they're after the warmth of your body heat. It's better than sitting in the sun, if my friend's pythons are to be believed...

Thank you <3
[User Picture]From: arcadiaego
2012-05-08 09:32 pm (UTC)

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Adorable! (I love snakes.)
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:12 pm (UTC)

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I love them, too. Thanks <3
[User Picture]From: xylodemon
2012-05-08 09:33 pm (UTC)

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This is perfect.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:12 pm (UTC)

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Thank you for reading <3
[User Picture]From: sovay
2012-05-08 10:02 pm (UTC)

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unbuttoning his cuff in irritation as the snake glides head-first up the sleeve of his shirt.

Well, that's adorable.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:16 pm (UTC)

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It feels funny when a snake does that, but not altogether unpleasant. My friend's ball pythons love to do that to, well, just about everybody. They're suckers for body heat, snakes.

Thank you!
[User Picture]From: orionthe_hunter
2012-05-08 10:37 pm (UTC)

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a;lksdjfalk;djf *flails*

That was amazing!! :DDDD
And so cute.

I will return with coherence later.

And thanks so much for filling my prompt!
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:17 pm (UTC)

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I do my best to keep promises! It helps that your prompt was amazing, too.

Thank you :)
[User Picture]From: linda3m
2012-05-08 10:55 pm (UTC)

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Awww! Ticklish coils! Very sweet and charming.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:18 pm (UTC)

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I'm convinced Crowley is very ticklish, regardless what form he takes ;)

Thank you.
[User Picture]From: pinigir
2012-05-08 11:11 pm (UTC)

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Loved it! Loved Crowley's way of enjoying himself (testing something) and simultaneously repelling costumers. Loved Aziraphale spouting the facts on the type of snake he was; that he was in fact perfectly harmless (heh) and that the males were smaller than the females. (Which is perfectly true according to Wikipedia.) :-)
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:20 pm (UTC)

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I did a bit of research on British/European grass snakes (not to be confused with the North American variety, which are bright green) before writing this one. They're the only indigenous British snake that sometimes has yellow/golden eyes. I'm convinced of their Englishness right from the start, even as far back as Eden.

Thank you!
[User Picture]From: laceymcbain
2012-05-08 11:37 pm (UTC)

out of sight ...

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Aw, Crowley. It's strange to say that a snake can be sweet, but you've managed to convey that.

I kind of want to rub him under his snakey chin and say, "oh, look at his wittle fangs!"

(See what you've done?)
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:20 pm (UTC)

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Right up there with "little toesie-woesies" and "he was very sweet" re: baby Adam!

Thank you :)
[User Picture]From: sheerpoetry
2012-05-09 12:11 am (UTC)

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I don't know if there are any words for this other than positively precious.
I love how Az knows exactly what the scream is for and exactly how to deal with it! And this: He's the very picture of disheveled grace, and entirely too endearing.

*sigh*
So very perfect. You write them WONDERFULLY.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:22 pm (UTC)

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I'm jealous of Crowley, because he has the perfect method of exfoliation: switch to snake form, shed, and voila. His human skin must be just radiant in the aftermath :-P

Thank you <3
[User Picture]From: zolac_no_miko
2012-05-09 02:57 am (UTC)

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Eeeeee! I adore it. Love when Aziraphale insists they never bite, and Crowley immediately sinks his teeth in, just to be an ass. ♥

(Icon is the wrong Crowley but it's the best I can do, WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY GOOD OMENS ICONS?)
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:23 pm (UTC)

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It's said of British grass snakes, based on the research I did before writing this, that they rarely, if ever, actually bite! They just mock-strike in order to scare off attackers and don't even bother opening their mouths. CROWLEY IS SO LAZY. IT'S PERFECT.

Thank you :) And you should make some!
[User Picture]From: epithalamium
2012-05-09 05:21 am (UTC)

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Aww, this is so cute! Who'd have thought I'd find snakes snuggly creatures. Beautiful, yes, snuggly? I never thought until I read this. XD
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:23 pm (UTC)

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Snakes are very snuggly, as they like human body warmth. I have had so many snakes up my sleeves over time. It kind of tickles.

Thank you :)
[User Picture]From: hsavinien
2012-05-09 05:47 am (UTC)

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*giggles* That last image is really quite entertaining.

Also OW. I have been bitten by a garter snake and it was definitely painful despite the lack of toxins.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:24 pm (UTC)

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I've been bitten by garter snakes, too - thankfully, it never resulted in any serious injury. It would seem that the British grass snake's fangs are even more faily, though, than a garter snake's: so much so that they don't even bother to open their mouths when mock-striking to scare off attackers!

Thank you :)
[User Picture]From: zedille
2012-05-09 06:27 am (UTC)

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I love the tone of fond domesticity you created, with all the sun pouring in. Crowley the snake is simply absolutely adorable (for lack of a better word!) This made me smile :)
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:25 pm (UTC)

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Fond domesticity: that sums up these two for me, in a nutshell!

Thank you :)
[User Picture]From: _silverfox
2012-05-09 11:02 am (UTC)

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Awwww! So cute!
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:26 pm (UTC)

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Thank you very much :)
[User Picture]From: alassenya
2012-05-09 12:42 pm (UTC)

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"It writhes, gnawing ineffectually at Aziraphale's thumb before reluctantly letting go."

That pretty much sums up Crowley and Aziraphale for me. Lovely fic, I'm so glad to see your muse returning.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:26 pm (UTC)

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It's all for show. And Crowley's such a lazy bastard <3

Thank you! It's good to hear from you, always.
[User Picture]From: day221b
2012-05-09 01:56 pm (UTC)

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Quite enjoyable! Have missed Crowley and Aziraphale's antics!
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:27 pm (UTC)

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Me too ;) Thank you so much!
[User Picture]From: jeweledhibiscus
2012-05-09 04:32 pm (UTC)

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So much adorable!
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:27 pm (UTC)

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Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you <3
From: (Anonymous)
2012-05-10 02:30 pm (UTC)

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This was lovely. I adore weary!Aziraphale.
[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2012-05-15 02:28 pm (UTC)

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It's one of his best settings, definitely :)

Thank you!
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