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Fic: "I Meet You There, and We Go" - John/Sherlock - R - if there's a place for [us] that love has kept protected [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Fic: "I Meet You There, and We Go" - John/Sherlock - R [Jan. 10th, 2011|02:23 am]
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Title: I Meet You There, and We Go
Pairing: John/Sherlock
Rating: R
Warnings: Major character death(s).
Notes: A kink-meme fill for this request: Split perspective—Sherlock is both dying and keeping his bees. And by dying, I mean at the Pool, with John trying his best to save him. In his own mind, Sherlock is years off, keeping his bees. Change it any way you want, but what I really, really would love to see is Sherlock both living and dying, and not being able to distinguish which is real. Title from "Garlands," by Tori Amos.
Summary: Sherlock doesn't believe in second chances, but a last one will suffice.

*** eastern_passage has done some artwork to accompany this. ***


As the first bullet hits him, Sherlock pulls the trigger, and the explosion fades to a dull, soothing hum. Not fair, Sherlock thinks as he draws breath to shout, but can't, because there's a second bullet, and John (didn't even make the first move)—

John is already there, arms strong and sure around him.

Covering him as debris rains down, his breath harsh and frantic against Sherlock's sweat-slicked cheek. It's familiar (shouldn't be, they've never), somehow disarmingly sweet. Warmth blooms, no, burns in Sherlock's chest, seeps out between stuttering pulses: his heart and then John's, his heart and then John's, his heart and then John's.

*

He's waited years for this, would've waited forever.

Normally, John is wary of the hives, and Sherlock doesn't necessarily blame him. He treats Sherlock's stings with weary affection, implores him to consider the ridiculous suit, veil, and gloves. Not fair, Sherlock tells him, tugging John in closer by the arm tentatively curled around his waist, wielding the smoker with his free hand. John's other arm slips around him. They wouldn't get a clear view of me, nor I of them.

John mutters (don't know the difference), tensing as a few drones whiz past Sherlock's shoulder, catch their wings on the greying wisps of his still sun-touched hair.

*

"Of course I know the difference," Sherlock says, coughing, only it's his head on John's shoulder instead of John's on his, and his lips are inexplicably wet.

"The difference between what?" John asks, and the relief in his voice is palpable, but unconvincing. It's as real as his hesitant fingertips struggling to pick at the sodden wreck of Sherlock's shirt. "Sherlock, talk to me. Keep going."

"Here," Sherlock says, letting his eyes drift shut again, "and there."

*

It's later, much later. Evening. They're inside.

John undoes the buttons of Sherlock's shirt one by one and finds each sting with careful fingertips. Only two of them today. Sherlock reclines against the pillow, smug, while John applies a damp, stinging cotton ball first to one, and then the other.

"What on earth would I do if you were allergic?" he asks.

"Save me, I suspect," replies Sherlock.

*

"That's not funny," John says, and Sherlock can't help but notice that he's coughing between words, too. So much dust in the air, so very fine. Smell of something burnt. Hiss of steam, flicker of dying lights. He's given up on picking at Sherlock's shirt and has taken to propping him up instead, one arm wrapped about Sherlock's waist, the other hand busy checking the pulse-point at Sherlock's throat, and then his wrist—

"I meet you there," Sherlock tells him. "You make it."

"You're bloody well going to make it, too, if I have any say in the matter!"

John's frowning at him now, frowning very hard indeed. His hand drifts from Sherlock's throat to his cheek, and John's breathing is even harsher now than it was before. There's shouting beyond the mountain range of rubble, the jagged lines and shadows' sharp relief. But all Sherlock can hear is the hum, low and inevitable.

*

The hives are quiet at night, because the sound follows Sherlock into sleep.

And on this night that's like so many others, fraught with visions only half dreamed, Sherlock wakes with a start to the press of John's damp palm at his cheek.

"What did you dream?" John asks. "Your heart's racing."

Silence, Sherlock thinks. The bees have gone out.

*

"I dream of what it's like," he says with difficulty, and the words taste right in spite of the fact that everything else tastes wrong, "when we leave this place."

John is quiet for an unbearably long while (too quiet: no humming, no breath) before he lets his forehead drop to rest against Sherlock's, smudge of ash and grit and sweat mixed with something far too heavy to be tears. He presses one hand over Sherlock's heart, and there's warmth again. The promise dazzles him. It stings.

"What's it like?" asks John, finally, his voice thick with the promise of rest.

"There are bees," Sherlock says, fumbling loosely for John's hand at his chest. Finds it, closes it in his own. There. "It's peaceful," he says, squeezing John's fingers.

John laughs, but it bubbles from him strangely, more like a sob. It's beautiful.

"Then what are we waiting for?" he asks. By now, his voice is almost a whisper.

"We'll go," Sherlock murmurs, turning his head, and their lips almost touch. He doesn't believe in second chances, but he does believe in last ones. "Like this—"

*

Sherlock drifts again, lulled into slumber by John's kiss.



- Continue: The Half-Open Window -
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[User Picture]From: aynslee
2011-01-10 02:27 am (UTC)
Oh, wow, this was breathtaking. Such great imagery, so much feeling and depth of emotion between them -- all done with so few words. Gorgeous, even though it broke my heart.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:49 pm (UTC)
Writing all of those drabbles and ficlets still has me in a mode where I'm writing quite spare stuff, I think. That and it was difficult to consider drawing it out any longer than I had to, given I was killing them both. But that's better than killing just one of them and leaving the other to suffer! Thank you <3
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From: karadin
2011-01-10 02:28 am (UTC)
Oh thats lovely, I particularly like this line - catch their wings on the greying wisps of his still sun-touched hair.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:48 pm (UTC)
I can't ever imagine John's hair without those touches of sun-exposure; it's very striking. Well, it's a weird relief to see the word "lovely" so many times in a context where I've killed off both characters in one fell swoop! Thanks for reading :)
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[User Picture]From: mysterypoet66
2011-01-10 02:34 am (UTC)
My only concession to leaps of what could be termed, "faith," is believing that parallel universes are possible. This hit me so hard.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:47 pm (UTC)
If it makes you feel any better, too, I did indeed kill them both. And, yes, there's the metaphysical at play here - I wanted to give them a place to go. Sherlock's imaginings provide that, in a way. I'm never sure what I think re: an afterlife; I'm quite solidly agnostic, but decidedly spiritual, too, so. Thank you, love *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: echoindarkness
2011-01-10 02:38 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness my heart is breaking. This is lovely.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:46 pm (UTC)
Had to keep my own from breaking a little by killing both of them, not just Sherlock! I'm usually pretty touchy about death-fic, but the request was just so haunting. Thank you for reading :)
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I'm kind of relieved that you find it so, because the only way I could make it beautiful for myself, anyway, was to kill both of them, rather than just Sherlock as per the request. Not usually a fan of death-fic, me, but if I'm losing both of them, I can just about stand it.
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[User Picture]From: emerald_embers
2011-01-10 02:42 am (UTC)
*insta-faves*

I am in tears.

Admittedly this is in part because I'm tired and thus more susceptible to tears, but damn. This is gorgeous and strange and just - oh, god, you get emotions like no other writer I've ever known, and I love it.

This is absolutely beautiful <3. Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:43 pm (UTC)
*hugs* No more tears. If it makes you feel any better, I can confirm that I did, in fact, kill them both, not just Sherlock. They both got hit. Bloody snipers. It's about the only way I could see something resembling a happy or hopeful ending here. Sherlock's hallucinations, if that's what they are (I play the metaphysical card quite often), gives them a place to go, at least.

Thank you, dear <3
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

(In context, your icon's kind of ironic; killing them both was the closest thing I could think of re: a happy ending here. Fairytale indeed.)
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[User Picture]From: la_vie_chanson
2011-01-10 02:50 am (UTC)
*sigh* I do like the melancholy beauty of this.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:41 pm (UTC)
It's about as...well, happy is not the right word, but, okay, as happy as I could make it (i.e. killing both of them instead of just killing Sherlock; I couldn't stand the thought of John surviving). Thank you very much for reading <3
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[User Picture]From: interjection
2011-01-10 02:59 am (UTC)
This is...heartbreaking. I can't describe the feeling I had reading it, but I'm almost in tears.

Beautiful.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:39 pm (UTC)
I tried to soften the blow a bit by killing both of them instead of killing just Sherlock, as twisted as that may sound. I can't stand the thought of one of them surviving the other under such awful circumstances. Thank you very much *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: quantumlobster
2011-01-10 03:04 am (UTC)
Oh, lovely.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:38 pm (UTC)
Ooh, wow, so's your icon (very appropriate). Thank you for reading *hugs* Better to kill them both, I thought, than kill just one of them...
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[User Picture]From: missp2010
2011-01-10 03:09 am (UTC)
oh my god this has just blown me away, i could see it feel it smell it taste it, you write so inexplicably well! i just love it and the 'bees' were unexpected and so very fitting!
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:37 pm (UTC)
I loved the request too much to walk away, although I killed both of them instead of killing just Sherlock (I could never bear to leave one of them alone, oh God). Thank you very much for reading <3
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[User Picture]From: robinhood221b
2011-01-10 03:11 am (UTC)
;_; that was magnificent!
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:36 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thank you. It was much easier to kill them both than to kill just Sherlock. Amazing request, isn't it?
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[User Picture]From: baba_o_reily
2011-01-10 03:30 am (UTC)
Oh wow. This was really lovely.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you - and, yikes, I don't envy who'll get the unlucky job of finding them both dead. Death-fic is tricky; there aren't many ways to make it hopeful, but you can try to make it go down easier, I guess <3
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[User Picture]From: zeta_tales
2011-01-10 03:34 am (UTC)
I love you. I just...totally love you. I've read every one of your fics for this fandom and this one, THIS one just breaks my heart in the most beautiful of ways.

You must have the most lovely soul to create words and images and feelings like this.

Thank you, thank you.
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:34 pm (UTC)
I couldn't bear the thought of killing just Sherlock, so I killed them both. I can far more easily swallow the thought of them dying together than the thought of one having to watch the other die. Granted, I think Sherlock slips away here a few seconds before John does, although he knows full well they're both dying. When he says You make it, he means, You're dying, too. The request is really amazing, isn't it?

Thank you so much for reading - everything, really *hugs* That's quite a number of hours you could've been doing something productive, I'm sure!
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[User Picture]From: pingback_bot
2011-01-10 03:38 am (UTC)

No title

User mad_maudlin referenced to your post from No title saying: [...] Aaaaand a Sherlock rec: I Meet You There, and We Go [...]
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[User Picture]From: irisbleufic
2011-01-10 01:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow, that was fast. Thank you for the rec <3
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